


Where Were You When I First Learned To Love?

by Fangirl1232



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Disability, Friends then lovers, M/M, deaf!Marco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-01-22 00:09:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1568864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl1232/pseuds/Fangirl1232
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean moves to a new city. He has to deal with many changes. He has to go to a new school. Have new friends. Ride the bus by himself. Sit next to a deaf kid at the back of the bus. Become good friends with said deaf kid. Realize your friendship might have progressed into something else and that you, Jean Kirstein, are crushing on your best bro, the deaf kid Marco Bott.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Change

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Attack on Titan fic! I thought it was fitting that i write one for my OTP. I have a thing for deaf!Marco fanfics so here it is!

"This sucks. The world sucks. Why do we have to be moving here anyways?" Jean Kirstein complained wildly to his mother as they lugged boxes up and down the stairs of their new apartment. "Jean dear, you know why. Your father got transferred to Trost because of his excellent work ethic. His company needed good hands on the job here. It isn't easy creating security systems in the city." Grumbling, because he knew his mother was right, Jean tugged the last box up the steps, dropping it on one of the many others already lying stacked against the wall. Wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, he stomped back down the stairs. Grabbing his backpack off the table, he watched as his mother continued moving boxes from the U-haul up into the apartment. "Have fun with that, mom! I'm off to the bus stop!" She nodded, arms full with heavy brown card board. "Have fun, be safe!" He scowled as she said her favorite catchphrase. "I know, I know." Kicking the door closed, he trudged down the busy city street, kicking a pebble as he walked. Reaching the school bus stop, he sat down at the bench, glad to have his gray hoodie as protection from the wind. A gruff looking kid in a black windbreaker joined him a few moments later, brown, nondescript hair flopping over vivid blue-green eyes. "Hey." The kid glanced in his direction as he spoke. "What is it?"  _This kid is touchy!_ "Nothing, just wanted to introduce myself, I'm new to the neighborhood."  _God, this being friendly thing is hard._ "I'm Jean Kirstein. You?" The kid scowled. "What is it to you?"  _Woah there._ "Hey, listen here! I was just trying to be cordial. You don't have to be an ass!" The kid stood, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "I'm Eren Jaegar, and I'd like you to know that everyone around here knows to leave me the fuck alone! I only talk to my girlfriend and my best bro. No one else. You here? No getting chummy with me pal. Nice try!" Eren spit on the ground and Jean resisted the urge to choke him. "Well sorry mr. lover boy! I will make sure not to go out of my way to be nice to you!"  _Damn this jerk! I bet his friends are worse than he is!_ "Mikasa!" Eren's friendly shout took him off guard. He turned to glance dispassionately in the direction the boy was yelling but froze. Before him stood the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her ink black hair was flowing in the wind, shiny in the sunlight. As she drew closer, Jean smelled a scent like wild flowers that wafted off of her as her red scarf drifted past his face. The spell was broken when she sat down next to Eren and planted a kiss on his cheek.  _Right. The girlfriend._ In even more of a sour mood than usual, he sat and brooded.

Not listening as Eren chatted away to the silent Mikasa, he stared at the gum covered concrete at his feet.  _This is a pain. I want my old school back. I want my friends. I want my own fucking house back, not some crappy apartment in the middle of a junk covered city!_ Feet slapping the pavement caused him to twitch, head swiveling towards the sound. A small boned, blonde kid with an unfortunate hair cut raced towards Eren and Mikasa, grinning. "Hey guys!"  _The dude even sounds like he looks! Hah._ The two already there looked up. "Hey Armin." Eren grinned, looping an arm around Armin's neck, tugging him down onto the bench on his other side. Jean didn't miss how Armin blushed subtly when Eren glanced at him. _The dude is fucking crushing on that jerk!? Wow, he really could do better!_ Jean was no stranger to sexuality, having discovered 2 years prior that he was himself a bisexual. He tended to go for girls more than guys, but there was the occasional dude who would walk by that would catch his interest. He hadn't had much luck dating at his old school, the last girl he had asked out kicked him in the balls because the scowl firmly affixed on his face had made her think he had done it on a dare. The last guy he asked out beat the shit out of him and tied his shoes together to toss onto the power lines.  _Some life._ "Hello! My name's Armin Arlert. You're new right?" He glanced up to see the blonde guy smiling at him.  _Wow, this dude does not match the other two- not that that Mikasa girl matches in any way with that jerk, Eren...but..._ "Oh! H-hi. My name's Jean Kirstein. I just moved here." Armin nodded. "I'll help guide you around school if you get lost." He dug around in the bag hanging from his shoulder before he took out a phone. Showing it to Jean, he displayed a number. "Here's my number if you need to text me about anything." Surprised, Jean paused for a few seconds before pulling his own phone out of his pocket, entering the number. A screeching sound interrupted a snide comment from Eren as the school bus rolled to a stop. The doors opened and Jean got in hesitantly behind the three. He glanced around at all the friends chatting in their seats before reluctantly sliding into a seat at the back, not looking at the other student sharing the seat. 

A finger poked his shoulder and he glanced sullenly over at his neighbor. Brown hair fell in silly looking bangs over soft brown eyes. The boy's tan skin was scattered with a multitude of freckles. Jean stared, waiting for the stranger to say something. The kid only waved. Looking back at the seat in front of him, Jean stiffened.  _Great, a weirdo._ Another tap on his shoulder made him jump. The freckled kid drew his hand away, an apologetic smile on his lips. He held out a notebook which Jean, humoring him, looked at. 'Hi I'm Marco Bott. Sorry I can't speak with you, I'm deaf and my voice sounds really weird because of it. Nice to meet you!' Staring at the words on the page, he looked up into the brown eyes of the deaf kid. _God, I'm so stupid!_

(A/N: Stick around for chapter 2: In Which Jean Learns The Perils of Trost High. I'm currently going to be writing that one but I would really appreciate reviews to help me along!)


	2. Jean Learns The Perils of Trost High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean sits at Reiner and Berholt's table, chatting with them and Annie. Becoming friends with them, he feels his way through the first week at Trost High.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys! Love to all who gave this work kudos! It really motivated me to keep writing!! Anywho, in this one, Jean is kind of a jerk.

The cafeteria at Trost High seemed to be in a state of total chaos 24/7. Students jumped around screaming, food barely swallowed as they howled at each other across the wide sea of tables. Bewildered and totally out of his league, Jean opted for putting his cool face on and strolling past the tables like he owned the place until some kind person took pity on him. "Yo, dude. You new? Look a little lost there. Wanna sit here?" He turned to see a muscular blonde guy motioning to an empty seat next to him across from a sour looking blonde girl. "Thanks."  _Guess the cool face didn't work too well._ "I'm Reiner, and this is Annie. My guy Bertl...Bertholt...is sitting on my other side but he got a hankering for some ketchup so he's up to get some. To Jean's credit his surprise didn't show on his face. "I'm Jean Kirstein. I'm new." Reiner shrugged, leaning back. "Yeah I figured. You got that, 'holy shit where am I' look to ya. Good luck with classes." Nodding, Jean opened the lunch his mom had packed in his backpack. "Lunch from mom?" He jumped as Reiner grinned at him. "Y-yeah. Got a problem with that?" Still smiling, the blonde giant shook his head. "Nah. I ain't about to mess with a guys mom. Plus mom's cooking is always the best." A silent, skinny and tall brown haired boy sank into the seat next to Reiner. "Bertl say hi to Jean." Head snapping up, Bertholt recognized the newcomer for the first time. "Hello... yeah like Reiner already said I'm Bertholt." Jean shrugged. "Nice to meet ya man."  _Jeez, that Annie girl's so quiet. What's her problem?!_ "So Annie, do you know a girl named Mikasa."  _Perfect. Ruin a good conversation with a new person by bitching about a crush as new as a newborn's ass._ She nodded and went back to sipping her diet coke looking bored with the world. Silence dominated the rest of the lunch break while Jean ate his food quietly trying not to stare when Reiner started to whisper something into Bertholt's ear that turned his whole face red.  _Dammit I'm always stuck in situations like this._ Remembering Armin's cellphone number, he dug out his phone and began texting him.

**From: Jean Kirstein**

**To: Armin Arlert**

Yo dude. How's it hanging?

 

A few minutes passed before his phone vibrated.

**To: Jean Kirstein**

**From: Armin Arlert**

I'm doing well! Thanks for texting me! How's school so far?

 

**From: Jean Kirstein**

**To: Armin Arlert**

It sucks. It's school. Hey do you know a kid named Marco Bott?

 

**To: Jean Kirstein**

**From: Armin Arlert**

Yes. He's in my homeroom. Why?

 

**From: Jean Kirstein**

**To: Armin Arlert**

I talked to him on the bus earlier and would like his number.

 

**To: Jean Kirstein**

**From: Armin Arlert**

Oh, sure thing: 314-576-7666  **(A/N: I made this number up but I'm not saying its not real. Please don't try to call it and piss the owner off.)**

 

**From: Jean Kirstein**

**To: Armin Arlert**

Thanks dude. Lunch is gonna end in a few, gotta go.

 

**To: Jean Kirstein**

**From: Armin Arlert**

Anytime! Bye!

 

Putting his phone away, he got up, tossing his trash in the trashbin as he sluggishly dragged his body out of the lunch room, back to class.

 

 


	3. The Deaf Kid and the Sullen Jerk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jean has emotional problems that happen to boil over and he kind of freaks out. In which Marco finds Jean huddled in the bathroom and shows an act of kindness that Jean can't believe. In which Jean realizes he's an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo, sorry about the late update guys! I am taking an AP exam for school and shit happened. So ha, here's an extra long chapter for you. I promise there will be some JeanMarco action in this one!

"No! Please, stop!" Jean didn't listen as he rammed his fist into the other guy's rib cage, hearing a satisfying yelp of pain as the bruised boy falls to the ground, clutching at his sides. Rubbing his bruised knuckles on the sides of his legs, Jean runs away, mind in turmoil. _What the heck did I just do? And better yet, WHY?_ He gritted his teeth and launched himself inside the men's bathroom. Going over to the row of porcelain sinks, he turned on the cool water and let it run soothingly over his hands. _What is wrong with me? I don't usually terrorize people like that! In fact, I'm usually the one on the ground!_ Leaning his head against the smoothness of the mirror, he stared into his own eyes, pupils blown with adrenaline. _What the fuck is happening to me?_ He started, hitting his head at the sound of someone coming out of a stall behind him and he quickly dropped the mask that had been covering his true emotions for the past two weeks all school day. To his surprise, Marco, the kid he had been texting walked out and silently washed his hands. Jean watched him out of the corner of his eye while pretending to make sure his hands were soaped down enough. He flinched as a soft hand patted his shoulder. Looking into those brown eyes he thought he was falling. Marco turned on the faucet on the sink Jean was standing frozen in front of and reached out, grabbing his wrist. Guiding the hand under the water, a look of concentration on his freckled face, he repeated with Jean's other hand.  _The fuck is this guy doing?_ Dropping Jeans hands, he stepped back, rummaging around in the bag at his side. Taking out a notebook he scrawled something onto it quickly, showing Jean the message. 'I'm sorry about your hands but you need to stop hurting others. It doesn't heal the pain you hold inside. It only makes it worse.' Sinking slowly to the linoleum tiles, Jean put his head in his hands. Those gentle hands descended upon his shoulders and he could feel Marco trying to get him to stand. Looking with red rimmed eyes at this kind person he barely knew, he shook his head. Marco scribbled something else in his notebook and showed Jean. 'I want you to meet me in the park after school. I know how you feel because I have felt that way too.' Surprised by the offer, he stood and stared as the boy motioned quickly in sign language, then paused and simply waved. He walked out of the bathroom leaving Jean listening to the thumping sound of his heart beat. Leaving as well, he collected his back pack from his locker.

The school was mostly empty, teachers packing up long after their students had charged free from the space. Remembering what Marco had said, he walked out doors of the school in the direction of the city  park.  _Oh well, it doesn't matter anyways, I missed the bus regardless._ Sunlight filtered through the trees as Jean strolled across the pavement. _Where is he?_ Continuing to walk, he smiled as he saw the freckled boy waving from the park bench. Lifting his own hand in greeting, he jogged over to him happily. Marco grinned as Jean sat down next to him.  _Holy fuck does he know his smile is that amazing...wait...I sound like I'm in love with him! Stupid, he's just a good friend!_ Marco opened his mouth and spoke for the first time to Jean. The words were clumsy and had a strange accent to them. Jean watched him as he spoke. "Hello Jean. I am...glad you are here." Noticing his hands were moving constantly in sign language as he was speaking, Jean smiled slightly. The signing instantly stopped as hands fell upon a pen and notebook in his lap. 'Is it weird? I'm sorry if it was odd sounding!' The words made Jean's heart ache a little. Holding out his hand, he captured Marco's in his own, the little pain in his chest going away. Looking straight at Marco so he could read his lips, Jean said slowly, "I don't mind. I like your voice..." Trailing off, he blushed. "And I want to learn sign language." The grin before had been nothing compared to the smile that stretched across Marco's face now. Letting go of Jean's hand, he signed a short sentence. Writing it in his notebook he showed it to Jean. 'Brilliant! I can teach you!' A warm feeling blossomed in Jean's heart and he grinned. "How do you say thank you so much?" Marco grinned and signed slowly. Repeating him, Jean found that it was easier than he expected. Marco's eyes widened and he giggled. From that day Jean decided Marco's giggle was the cutest sound he had ever heard.

Standing he offered Marco his hand again. Taking it, Marco squeezed his palm. Jean had a hard time focusing as they walked, all his attention on the warm hand in his. He didn't notice the tree. Banging his head hard, he sprawled on the pavement, looking up at Marco's horrified face. Marco knelt next to him and gingerly touched his head. When he pulled his hand away, Jean could see blood painting his fingertips. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was startled by the sensation of someone pressing their lips to his bloodied forehead. His eyes flew open as he met Marco's gaze blazing steadily and silently above red stained lips. Marco wiped Jean's blood off of his mouth with the back of his hand and helped him up. Jean's mind whirled as he was led over to a park bench and Marco- beautiful Marco, pulled a mini first aid kit from his backpack. Patching up Jean's forehead, he sat down next to him, eyes cast to the ground. Jean reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder gingerly. Marco still didn't look up.  _Looks like I will actually have to do this, huh?_ He removed his hand from Marco's shoulder and tipped his chin up with his pointer finger. Marco went still, watching Jean. Jean leaned in, took a deep breath, and pressed his lips lightly, fearfully, to Marco's. Pulling away, he stood, running from the spot without looking back, all the way home he covered his mouth with one hand, trying to hide the terror on his face intermingled the with astonishment he had felt as a spark shot from their connected lips, tingling down Jean's body with amazing force. Banging the front door closed, he fell onto his bed, fear and hope aching in his chest as he squeezed his eyes shut against the pillow.


	4. In Which Marco Avoids Jean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean tries to avoid Marco but to his astonishment the object of his devotion is avoiding him! Trying to find a way to mend the situation, Jean goes on a hunt for online sign language classes.

 

(A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it has taken me FOREVER to update. I had a lot of stuff going on and family crises.)

At school, Jean peered warily around the hallway for the sight of a brilliant white smile. Finding none, he crept over to his locker and slammed it open, startling the younger students who had flocked in the nearby corner.  _Fuck me. Fuck my life. This is all not going as planned._ He jumped as a hand clapped down on his shoulder. Turning, he saw Reiner grinning down at him. "H-hey." Reiner chuckled. "What's got you so riled up?" Jean muttered but grimaced to himself.  _What the hell. What would it hurt telling him? I'm already an outcast._ "There's a person I like who is deaf. And we went on a sort of date but then we kissed and I sort of ran away." Reiner's eyebrows shot even higher up his forehead. "Man, you got yourself a really bad situation. They probably think you ran away because you didn't like the kiss."  Jean's heart sank. He had figured as much. "I'm so screwed....." Reiner patted his shoulder, chuckling. "Not yet." Bertholt came up behind them and tapped Reiner on the shoulder. Reiner jumped and Bertl slung an arm around Reiner's neck. This was the first act of a somewhat normal relationship between them that Jean had seen. Reiner glanced around, looked sternly at Jean, and surprisingly; pecked Bertholt quickly on the lips. Jean looked away, blushing.  _Ok now I know I can trust them._ "Reiner." Reiner glanced up. "What is it? You saw nothin'." Jean shook his head. "The person I like is Marco." Reiner looked at him sarcastically with an eyebrow poised just under,  _you dumb fuck,_ and just over, _no shit, sherlock._ Jean sighed. "Stop that. I know it was obvious." Reiner and Bertl walked away, Bertl waving his hands and describing something excitedly while Reiner's booming laugh echoed back to Jean. 

The rest of school was Hell.

Marco had obviously been ignoring him, a fact that Jean had caught on to in second period. The freckled face not once turned in his direction. By lunch time, Jean had lost what little had remained of his appetite. Scooping up the mashed potatoes on his plate with a spoon, he let it plop back onto the styrofoam tray. He looked up and by coincidence locked eyes with the person he had been trying to avoid.

At once, Jean's fork dropped from his hand and his jaw went slack.

_Fuck it, I'm in love._

After school and homework, Jean browsed frantically for a free sign language site and set to work. Practicing how to sign out: "I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. I love you." He sighed and put his aching fingers down, collapsing into bed after frantically swiping the light switch off. Tomorrow would be a better day.

 


End file.
